


Flowers grow out of my grave

by ConventionalScarlet (FrerardCake)



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Cemetery, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post Season 5, Pre-Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 03:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18885964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrerardCake/pseuds/ConventionalScarlet
Summary: Talking to the dead is not any easier.





	Flowers grow out of my grave

**Author's Note:**

> This is sad. Be warned.  
> Title from the song 'Flowers grow out of my grave' by Dead Man's Bones

"Been a while…” Barry mumbled under his breath as he sat down on the patch of grass in front of the stone block.

It felt like here he was surrounded by everyone he loved and had once loved, it felt like being in a very quiet version of the cortex, a version where the grass and the stone replaced the monitors and computers.

“I’ve been fine… Sort of. So much happened I can barely get my head straight. Iris and I have been through a lot this year with Nora and fighting and DeVoe and Cicada…” he cleared his throat and rubbed his face then neck, trying to shake off the forming tears.

So many tears wanted to come out, so many already had and Barry had no idea how he could do that, how he could cry so much and still have tears left.

“Everything is so much worse now…” he choked out and let his head fall back, staring straight up at the sky. It always seemed that little extra gray when he came here, “everything, mom… I don’t know what to do… Crisis is coming sooner than we thought, Cisco took the cure… Can’t reach Oliver-”

He cut himself off with a sob and finally let his tears flow free.

No one judged someone crying in front of their dead mother’s grave.

“Wish I could do what Nora did… Go back in time and see you again… Ask for advice, feel your fingers through my hair,” he wiped the tears away even though more kept coming and shook his head. Even saying it felt wrong.

He knew he couldn't. He knew his time was coming. He knew it would screw something up even if he just went back in time to see his mom in college, maybe help her carry her books to class just so he could see her one more time…

But the feeling was still there. The want. The longing.

“Every time I watch the sunset turning the sky orange I wonder if that’s it, you know? If today’s the day it’ll turn red,” he rubbed his face again and willed his tears to stop before looking back at the headstone, “this could be the last time I come by before the Crisis so… just wanted to say I love you mom…” he cleared his throat, “and miss you. Every day.”

Barry glanced around, looking at his father’s grave and then over at where Snart’s headstone was. Then Ronnie’s. Eddie’s.

For a second he felt the urge to just lay there for a while, let the dead silence cover him like a blanket, try and connect to all those who had died because of him, because of his powers… Because of Thawne’s actions.

But he couldn’t. He still had more graves to visit.

**Author's Note:**

> Was trying to get in the mood for the next chapter of Conquer and wrote this. The mood isn't quite right now yet and Conquer's kicking my ass right now but I really just wanted to get something out today since I've done about 0 writing this month so far.  
> Really need a new laptop.  
> Hope you enjoyed this and leave a nice little comment if you want!


End file.
